2 Embracing (or equality for) the Mary Sue

I've just come across this Tumblr post denouncing the term Mary Sue as sexist; I've been hanging around in fiction communities since I was little and have a very good idea of what a Mary Sue is, but I'd never considered it's negative effects beyond, well, bad fiction. This looked like a good article to start with... and then I read the first paragraph:

So, there’s this girl. She’s tragically orphaned and richer than anyone on the planet. Every guy she meets falls in love with her, but in between torrid romances she rejects them all because she dedicated to what is Pure and Good. She has genius level intellect, Olympic-athelete level athletic ability and incredible good looks. She is consumed by terrible angst, but this only makes guys want her more. She has no superhuman abilities, yet she is more competent than her superhuman friends and defeats superhumans with ease. She has unshakably loyal friends and allies, despite the fact she treats them pretty badly.  They fear and respect her, and defer to her orders. Everyone is obsessed with her, even her enemies are attracted to her. She can plan ahead for anything and she’s generally right with any conclusion she makes. People who defy her are inevitably wrong.  

 God, what a Mary Sue.

I just described Batman.

No, no you didn't. You described how you see Batman. He is orphaned, which helps create him. Its an origin story, and I guarantee you there's much worse; he is rich too, but he spends most of his time trying to escape the image associated with it - part of the reason he's such a dedicated crime fighter is that he's desperate to give something other than his money. He isn't so intelligent that he doesn't have a research department, and he sure as hell isn't all that pure or good. I'd go so far to say that at times, he's downright treacherous. He doesn't always defeat the superhumans, and not all his friends are loyal. Eventually, everyone hates him. He definitely doesn't plan ahead for everything, otherwise he wouldn't get through Robins like they're on a work placement.

I've mentioned my position on tropes in comics before, and I stand by my opinion. Tropes are everywhere, and these days it really is rarely an issue of feminism. Look at Selina Kyle; orphaned, troubled childhood, high intelligence and physical skill, and gets to still be the good guy despite being also a master criminal, so attractive that even Batman wants her. Of course, as with the quote above, its only the bits of her story that are relevant to a Mary Sue argument.

You can look at most of the superhumans too and pick out enough information to make them a hideous stereotype. Have you played Arkham City? If you read the character descriptions, every single one makes the characters look like Nobel prize winning supermodel pro-athletes. Dr Freeze! The Penguin! They're all rich, they're all privileged, but for some reason its never enough. You know why? Because a comic where they throw parties, have affairs, and commit petty finance crime would be Dallas.

Here's the next bit that irked me, which is sadly the very next paragraph:

TV Tropes on the origin of Mary Sue:

The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. 

Notice the strange emphasis on female here. TV Tropes goes on to say that is took a long time for the male counterpart “Marty Stu” to be used. “Most fanfic writers are girls” is given as the reason. So when women dominate a genre, that means people are on close watch, ready to scorn any wish fulfillment they may engage in. This term could only originate if the default was female.

 In fact, one of the CONTROVERSIES listed on the TV Tropes page is if a male sue is even possible. That’s right, it’s impossible to have an idealizied male character. Men are already the ideal.

You only have to look on the Wikipedia page for Mary Sues to see that the origin is from a female character, and that there are male-typical Mary Sue terms. Mary Sue is the term for a female version of this character, so it isn't that weird for the emphasis to be on female.

I think I've only ever encountered less than five male fanfic writers in eleven years, but that still isn't enough data to make any judgement call on the gender of 'most' fanfic writers. However, it's worth pointing out that the origins of Mary Sue start in one of the biggest Mary Sue vessels of them all - Star Trek. The term originated in a fan written tale, satirising this wish-fulfilment character that was present even in the show. It didn't catch on because it was female, it caught on because it was the first prominent attempt as prodding fun at the Wesley Crushers of sci fi. It was a representation of a repeating character type, so it became the common term.

What’s really wrong with a thirteen year old girl having a power fantasy, even if it’s badly written?

Because it's badly written. There are plenty of perfectly well written power fantasies by men and women, so throwing down the vagina card when someone criticizes your writing is just lame. I've seen so many terrible stories suddenly defended because the author has released an 'I'm just a girl, I have dreams' statement. If it isn't just a self-fulfilling piece of tripe, you'll care about the quality of your writing.

Let's skim down a bit:

So of course, a girl using traditionally feminine traits to dominate and triumph means she’s a sickeningly pure Mary Sue who makes everything go their way. Feminine traits are disdained and look down on, so when the positive feminine traits are prominent, the reader has an aversive reaction. How can a character be so feminine and triumph? She must be unrealistic, she must be badly written, because everyone knows it is impossible to be feminine and powerful.

 Hang on, didn't this start with criticizing Batman for acting masculine? Yes, he's a bit of a tool sometimes, but he has an ego! What self-respecting masked avenger wouldn't have an occasional god complex? If you look at classical literature, there are Mary Sues everywhere; Odysseus is a womanising, self-important moron and king of everything, Aeneas is a bizarrely intelligent hero who makes all the women swoon. Whole tragedies were written around Mary Sues. They aren't a new thing, and I doubt they will fade out any time soon.

There are plenty of feminine and powerful comic characters within the Batman franchise alone; we've already covered Selina Kyle, and there's also Poison Ivy, Oracle, Harley Quinn, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. No one would dare call any of them Mary Sues, probably because you'd wake up in an abandoned fairground tied to the tracks of a rollercoaster. There are equally as many badly written powerful, feminine characters - you know how I feel about Ghost - but it's because they're badly written, not because they're women, that people have problems with them.

 Let’s look at what kinds of Mary Sues people will point to. People will claim a female character is a Mary Sue if she is a love interest. Put a female character within a foot of a male character, and people will scream “Mary Sue!” Why does someone falling in love with her make her a Mary Sue? Well, she hasn’t “earned” this awesome dude character’s love. What has she done to show she’s worthy of him? Fans miss the irony that this line of logic makes the male character seem more like the Sue in Question, as he’s apparently so perfect one has work for his coveted love and praise.

 Never have I come across anyone who has called a love interest a Mary Sue, outside of - you guessed it - badly written fanfic. Lois Lane is not a Mary Sue, nor is MJ Watson (although, she is technically a type of shoe). Vicki Vale isn't even a Mary Sue. Is it just me, or do men kill each other for even a chance at attention from Poison Ivy? They're all strong women and their respective men have to earn their affection, and more often than not they reject their suitors in the process. Any character automatically falling in love with another is unrealistic, and deserves to be called out - not for being a Mary Sue, but for being (say it with me) badly written. When was the last time you admitted your affection to someone and had them immediately agree they're at the same level and you should both just get married? You have to work for it in real life, so you have to work for it in the comics.

The post drifts off a bit towards the end, and I lose track with what it actually has to do with Mary Sues. I think the problem is that people get so overheated about issues like this, they try to discuss all their opinions on it at once. I know, because I'm the same; I have to fight the impulse to go off about the costumes of female comic characters, or the representation of mutants.

The term Mary Sue is a valid one, otherwise it never would have stuck. There's a difference between people who genuinely admonish badly written characters and people who are just sexist, but it works both ways;  I've seen so may women call out men for liking male Mary Sues, but getting defensive over Bella Swan. Feminism isn't special treatment, its equal. Equal isn't being the same as men, its not receiving more or less because of your gender.

Ultimately, blame Gene Roddenberry.

[EDIT: I used valid three times in a sentence, but it's gone now. Shh, relax, it's all over.]

0 Gender roles in childhood: the difference between can and must.

There's a brilliant article floating around the internet right now called ' One teacher's approach to preventing gender bullying in a classroom', written by teacher Melissa Bollow Tempel. She explains how she dealt with any possible troubles caused by a girl in her class who liked things traditionally perceived as masculine, but still identified as a girl. Its odd that this is the first article I've seen that deals directly with gender roles without being tied to a story about young transpeople or homophobia in classrooms; it's also the first proper attempt I've seen at pre-emptive action rather than post-bullying.

Here's a small chunk from the article that I absolutely love:

My own thoughts about gender curriculum shifted when I became a mother. As I shopped for infant clothes for my first daughter, I was disgusted that almost everything was pink and there was no mistaking the boys’ section of the store from the girls’. I refused to make my baby daughter fit in the box that society had created for her. “What if she doesn’t like pink?” I thought. “What if she likes tigers and dinosaurs?”

As my two daughters grew, I talked with them about gender stereotypes. I let them choose “boys’” clothes if they wanted to (and often encouraged them because they are more practical). The first week of kindergarten, my younger daughter’s teacher told me that she had a heated argument with a boy while they played dress up. “She insisted that boys can wear dresses if they want to,” the teacher told me. I beamed with pride.

For years, I've felt exactly the same; from buying birthday presents to choosing stock for my toy shop, there's a clear divide between toys meant for boys and toys meant for girls - blue racing cars, pink teapots. Very definitive. Every time I had to make a choice, though, I felt an underlying sense of guilt for no obvious reason. Then, I read a comment on a Jezebel article about Lego's new range aimed at girls:

 mrs_weasley

Thu 15 Dec 2011 4:06 PM 

I am flabbergasted and confused by all the negative comments about this. Did anyone actually read the article? The Lego people asked girls what they wanted and designed these sets accordingly. They didn't unilaterally make the decisions about the colors and content. They based this on five years of research! And almost everyone here's reaction is: "Ew, it's pink so it must be bad." Why??? Why is appealing to girls' love of storytelling somehow worse than appealing to boys' love of building stuff? (And before anyone jumps on me, YES I know that many boys like telling stories and YES I know that many girls like building stuff - but there is also a lot of research that shows that boys and girls play differently.) Are we going to be treated to a "pink toys are bad" post every day until Christmas, so commenters can brag about how THEY played with trucks and just hated princesses? Because by doing so, you are basically saying "boys toys are better." Again, why?? Why is a truck better than a doll? Why is racecar better than a My Little Pony? Why is play workbench better than a play kitchen? If you say, "Because the girls toys reinforce gender stereotypes," my answer is, "So why do you think a truck driver is better than a mother? Why is someone who drives a car better than someone who rides a horse? Why is building a bookshelf better than making a meal?" I'm sorry, but denigrating things simply because they have a feminine design doesn't seem like a very feminist thing to me. 

It was like a little switch flicked on in my brain. Yes! The option to play with anything, to be anything, should be there, but standing in the way of little girls wanting to be princesses is the opposite of gender acceptance. In the Lego situation, they had done their research - they didn't just decide that little girls all like horsies and fairies and pink, they actually asked them after giving them a chance to play with original Lego.

I realise now that my guilt was because I felt I was trying to force kids to only accept things that were not usually assigned to their gender, that I felt girls must play with trucks and boys must have dolls otherwise the Earth was going to spiral into the sun or something. Of course, it won't.

This is how I arrived at the idea of 'can'; rather that telling kids that they have to play with certain toys, just show them all the toys and tell them they can play with anything they want, the emphasis being on 'they want'.

Studying psychology has left me with a habit of conducting observational studies whenever I get bored. You know when you watch people on the bus and silently judge them? Like that, but with a bit more science (only a bit). Basically, I've ended up spotting certain trends and patterns in my toy shop's little customers. Boys will look at the remote control cars first, girls go for the sticker books. Our jigsaw and peg puzzles can go either way, but girls tend to pick the animal themed ones and boys pick the vehicle ones. Absolutely everyone loves the things with dinosaurs on them.

Parents have a tendency to steer their children towards gender-aligned toys without even realising it. We have one particularly obnoxious customer who makes fun of his grandson by suggesting he wants a doll set. They tend to consider what the child should like, rather than what they do like.

I've found two very simple ways of avoiding this from happening; first, I ask what age range the adult is shopping for. This opens the door of showing them everything we have for that age, rather than boy/girl toys. This gets narrowed down by finding out what the child is good at - are they crafty? Do they paint? Do they like building things or playing pretend?

The second option is to ask the child. I know, it sounds simple, but try going to a toy shop with a child and see who they talk to. Engage the parent too, but ultimately the child is going to have a better idea of what they'll play with for hours and what they'll toss aside after ten minutes.

Gender roles still need to be challenged, but their barriers should be explained and allowed to dissipate rather than demonised; denying a girl the chance to play with dolls when they truly want to in the name of gender equality is as bad as denying a girl the chance to play with cars when they truly want to.

0 I'm okay, if your uke plays

Recently, my music taste has been leaning towards girl-centric bands; a brief foray into grrrl-rock with Bikini Kill and Babes In Toyland led me down the darker path of Hole and Jack Off Jill, straight back to the warm country house of my favourite, Amanda Palmer.

I love her. I love her music, I love her rebellious and open attitude and I love her husband (author Neil Gaiman). Her music is brilliantly open too; her song 'Oasis' has caused controversy nearly every time its hit the public eye, because it's a happy, upbeat, catchy song - about rape and abortion. Why not? As she says, people go through these things, and treating them as some miserable taboo does nothing to help. To me, she's a strong role model, and whenever I'm feeling down about myself I listen to her album.

My first proper female band obsession has to be Debbie Harry; I would listen to Ave Maria on repeat until one of my parents snapped and turned it off. Then I'd put on Heart Of Glass. She was unlike any of the women I was used to - she was edgy, still quite feminine, but not all the time. Most of my early teens was spent trying to be like her, and like all the other effortlessly cool girls who would hang around smoking and casual in town. It was difficult, though, because I wasn't comfortable, and it wasn't me.

This inner voice was reawakened by Florence + The Machine. Florence Welch is so incredibly stylish that when I accidentally bumped into her at a concert I just stared at her. I really hope she didn't think I was a stalker.

However, her figure is the direct opposite of mine - she's tall, thin, and a more masculine shape, whereas I am curvy, short, and busty. I was old enough to realise at this point, that I wouldn't be able to replicate her clothing choices. So I began thinking, I thought for several weeks, until the shoe finally dropped while listening to Amanda Palmer's post-label-dropping release, The Truth.

I spent so much time wanting to hang around cool people, wanting them to like me and let me share in their cool life, but I wasn't doing anything with my own life. Why can't I be cool too? There are so many brilliant people in the world, and the only thing stopping me becoming one is, well, me.

And that's why I like girl bands.

I've added some profiles from a few of my favourite, usually independent female recording artists; Amanda Palmer is, obviously, the same one as before. Jess Law is an old school friend of mine, and I cannot even begin to list her talents. Sophie Madeleine has a lovably delicate voice, accompanied by her uke.

0 Online shopping doesn't count.

At least, I hope it doesn't because I'm currently getting at least three packages a week. Today, my impulse purchases from ASOS arrived - they were offering me free next day delivery, how could I refuse? I've invested in these lovely hair combs, for when my hair is longer and less crazy scientisty.

The one on the left will make me look like I have little birds flying out of my hair (always a bonus), and the one on the right is so Art Deco I couldn't resist.

I also bought the Lomo Diana F camera, twice, at ridiculously cheap prices.

Diana F+ Quing Hua                                           Diana F+ Daybreak

Both cameras should have cost me at least £139, but thanks to eBay and the Urban Outfitters sale, I paid £68. The Quing Hua even had a roll of film in it, so that should be interesting.

I'm quite glad I bought these cameras now, as it is Birmingham's Clothes Show Live next week! I'm going on the 7th, the last day, platinum tickets, as I've done every year for, oooh, almost ten years, and its made me reminisce a bit about previous shows.

My favourite show is a difficult one to choose; the gumboot-dancing builders, the ethereal woman in a globe drifting across the stage, or the dress that was so long a platform in the catwalk had to raise the model high above us. I love the suspicious and random goody bags that have included everything from washing powder and elderflower juice to blue velvet thongs and 'personal topiary' kits.

I like that its a show, and it rarely disappoints, but alongside all the brilliance there have been some failures.

For some reason, Peaches Geldof was asked to host the catwalk sow - she stumbled through it, reading the names of the (admittedly dubious) celebrities off her hand, and then literally stumbled when the lights were turned out to start the show. I vividly remember Dave Berry just stepping over her and walking off. The theme last year was a bit shaky too, with the completely obvious choice of 'Christmas'.

When you hold a fashion show every year at the same time, just before Christmas, at no point should you consider Christmas to be a valid theme. It isn't even a style of dress, really.

The stalls themselves are usually wonderful, showcasing brands I never would have heard of, had I not seen them at the Clothes Show; Buddhist Punk, Lulu + Red, Religion, and a wide variety of vintage and student brands. There's bargains aplenty, especially on the last day when a lot of haggling goes on.

As the popularity of the Clothes Show, there have been stalls turning up who haven't really got the hang of it yet; they consider themselves to be brilliantly cool and popular for getting in and aren't we lucky they're letting us buy their clothes? The worst thing a seller has ever said to me?

"You know, I could take this back to my shop and sell it for twice the price!"

So I agreed, put down my purchases, and walked off. They weren't a brand, and I can't remember who they are, but I remember the product, the person, and the bad experience. One sentence I was enough to make me never want to shop with them again. Its a shame, because the whole point of this show is to introduce your brand to the public, to make deals and build relationships. This stall was overpriced, unwilling to haggle, and considered the Clothes Show to be a boutique rather than a marketing opportunity. Lame.

I'm looking forward to it this year, and am hoping its a return to the old days of the fashion show. If the theme is Christmas, I'll be so disappointed.

0 The light at the end of the tunnel is just a train hurtling towards you

There's little work left to do on my bedroom now; the floor is down and varnished, the walls painted and wallpaper hung, sockets all shiny and fitted - all that's left really is fitting shelves, doors and curtains. You have no idea how excited I am to not be sleeping on a floor-mattress. Every now and then there's an avalanche, and a bunch of stuff from various periods of my life falls on me; yesterday, I was treated to floppy disks and my GCSE Latin notes.

The important thing is, we're nearly there. I even have a bed frame ready to go, so as soon as I'm given the all-clear I can move right in. As for the rest of the house, my parents are having a bit of decorating done too.

Okay, a lot of work.

This has thrown something of a spanner in the works; my art table was in this room with all my supplies on it, on the understanding that my room would be finished by September and I could move it all back upstairs. Obviously this deadline has sailed by, and now all my supplies are packed up in boxes like everything else.

I've had to cancel a piece I was doing for Chainbear's book project, and I can't put a portfolio together for my Masters application. Now I have no way of getting work done, my brain has naturally flooded with ideas.

In order to sublimate my lack of personal anything, I've been buying things online quite regularly. Hair pins, clothes, books, cameras, you name it I've probably ordered one this week. One of my most impressive purchases arrived today, though, which came from Cult Pens; for some reason its really hard to get hold of dot grid notebooks. I went to Moleskine first, then began googling which turned up an unexpected hit at the Cult Pens website.

John Burgerman referred me to that site last year as a solid place to get affordable, lovely Posca paint pens, but I'd never had a good look at the site. I ended up ordering a Leuchtturm1917 dot grid book and a couple of pens I'd been searching for. Postage was free, so I expected the delivery to arrive maybe next week.

After doing some time calculation maths, the whole ordering and delivery process took a little over one day. That's next day delivery, for free. I'm still reeling from it a bit.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good Moleskine, but this... this is a serious contender.

Leuchtturm1917's notebooks have all the things Moleskine offers - acid free paper, different sizes, colours, an elastic cover strap, an expanding back pocket, and a page marker - however its the extras they offer that give Leuchtturm1917 a clear edge (and probably all of my future notebook-based business).

They provide a good choice of paper styles whilst still remaining useful. I have a Moleskine storyboard book that I've never, ever used; I remember being very impressed at the time, but its too small and constraining. Saying its original design doesn't make it useful.

The absolute selling point for me, as stupid as its going to sound, is the free stickers. The clever people at Leuchtturm1917 figured out that people probably store these journals after they use them, so they went ahead and provided archival cover and spine stickers with all their books. Its a simple idea, but oh so attractive to me.

They also have eight detachable pages in the back, which is useful if you want to hand a client a sketch, but then you have to choose your eight. If they started doing fully perforated, dot grid, soft cover notebooks, I'd just give up and buy shares in their company.

Leuchtturm1917

0 Crochetception

I've now crocheted a bag that's far along enough to carry the materials I'm crocheting it with in it...

My hands ache.

I'm making Christmas presents instead of buying this year, and I've already got a couple done. For starters, someone will be getting this bag; be grateful, and pay for my knuckle replacement surgery. I also am working on something for my best friend Jj, and some tiny things for my little cousiny people.  was worried I might be going a bit overboard with the crochet, then I visited the Victoria & Albert Museum's Power of Making exhibition:

That's a bear made from crochet by Shauna Richardson, life size, with all the appropriate details to make you think its taxidermy until you're right in front of it. This caught me completely off guard, and my brain went into overdrive - what can't you crochet? I can make a whole pair of gloves in two days, what could I make in a week? A month? Needless to say I've big plans as soon as I have a proper work space.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a couple of Joep Verhoeven's lace fence panels, an artist whose work I stumbled across last year but couldn't put a name to it.

You can see the sheer scale of it here. It looks so much more delicate since its in a relatively tough, construction context. The boundaries of yarn craft are getting more and more expansive, and I want to help push them.

0 This is a man's (AU) world, right?

A couple of days ago, my friend Thea sent me a link to a this video:



The role of women in comic books, from characters to authors, is a hotbed of opinions, and as a female comic lover I get asked my opinion quite a lot. I've been asked questions like this one, complex analyses on the tropes applied to female comic characters, and much simpler ones like, "are these for your boyfriend?"

If you look at the comics that usually get brought up as examples, they tend to be from Marvel and tend to have started circulation in the 1950s or earlier. When they initiated, they were representations of a powerful nation fighting war - Captain America and Superman trouncing spies and strange Europeans. So yes, if you go digging through their back catalog, some serious misogyny is going to pop up; but so is some racism, xenophobia, homophobia and stereotypes. These comics were written by people in that era for people of that era, so when you look back at them they will often seem offensive and bizarre.

This isn't a defense for them in any way; many tropes are still applied to women leaving them as sidekicks, reporters, and second lines of defense, however their position is rarely undervalued by the true comic lover. When Stephanie Brown was written off by almost everyone involved in the Batman series as 'not a proper Robin', fans overruled them and demanded that she was counted.

Gender aside, everything must be canon. The same logic can be applied to the Batman-Oracle argument brought up in the video above.

When Batman broke his back, he recovered because he's a multi-millionaire business man with access to the world's best technology. When Barbara Gordon was paralysed by the Joker putting a bullet in her spine, she ended up in a wheelchair; if Bruce Wayne had become involved and thrown money at her an explanation would have been required as to why he cared.
Batman is close friends with Oracle, but Bruce Wayne should only have a passing knowledge of Barbara Gordon; if Wayne Industries suddenly got involved just for the sake of equal treatment, it wouldn't take long for Gotham's crime undercurrent to figure out Batman's already tenuous disguise.

Thus, canon is preserved and Batman gets a whole new range of technical upgrades thanks to Barbara's super intelligence!

I feel I should also point out the many, many strong female characters. Lots of the 'women are underrated' supporters deliberately leave out the ways women have defied tropes, and also the existence of male tropes. They do exist, but they're passed over as normal despite being just as distorted and unfair. You pretty much have to be the rippling-torso'd genius billionaire, otherwise you're the poor, crazy, mutated outcast:
Batman and Joker.
Captain America and Red Skull.
Reed Richards and Dr Doom.
For every supremely perfect man there is an equally malfunctioning one, and the 'perfect men' are often not as perfect as they look anyway. For example, the recent Green Lantern film only barely touched on the crippling alcoholism of Hal Jordan's comic counterpart.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to argue against WiR.  I hate tropes, I really do, because they reinforce the idea of comics being a boys' club.0 My personal favourite trope is Ghost. Have you ever read it? I have, and it was a wake-up call.
I was raised on Sandman, Preacher, and Batman. I was used to intellectual dialogue and dystopian societies, outcasts and figureheads from all walks of life. Eventually I began to search out 'new' comics, looking for things I might like that were outside of my father's comic book collection. Ghost was introduced to me by a shop assistant as a 'girls' comic'.

Aww.

This is true, insofar as there is a girl in it. It's written entirely by men, drawn by men, is aimed at men, and its obvious before you even open the book.

She's a reporter (why are they always reporters?) killed for knowing too much. Unable to put up enough of a fight to save her own life, she suddenly becomes a vicious vigilante in the afterlife. Everyone can see her, she still exists, she's just also dead. And some woman wants to kill her for being too beautiful. And she hates men, unless they're offering her sex and protection. She's written like the authors have heard of feminism, but only about ten seconds of a full conversation about it while passing cleverer people on an escalator. For some reason she's always trying to lure people in with her aggressively sexual wiles, then killing them. She even had her own magazine paired up with Witchblade, but it was like sitting a stripper next to Darcy Bussell and calling it Classic Dance Monthly.

Never, ever read Ghost.

You just can't get away with it these days, though; there are whole comic book labels focused on promoting just female creators, whole sections of comics set up to target the female market, and they're starting to bleed through. I've become a sort of dealer, handing out copies of Transmetropolitan and Umbrella Academy to anyone who shows an interest. Honestly, I could have the tropes discussion for hours but ultimately its futile, because they're dying out on every level.

Look at Criminal Minds, a TV show that tried to write out two of its female characters and replace them both with a young, blonde, new one. They immediately set up a potential romance with fan favourite Dr. Reid (which, if they had any concept of how fangirls work, they should have recognised as an immediate mistake). The decision makers cited 'creative differences', but were heavily undermined by the other outspoken and disbelieving cast members. Fans became actively involved too, and the question was raised about if they would ever do that to the male characters. Someone along the line, who I can only assume was fired, blurted out an offhand statement basically saying of course they wouldn't, they matter. Uproar ensued and they hemorrhaged viewers to the point that they were forced to write the two original characters back in and phase the new one out. Success!

I ultimately credit Joss Whedon with a lot of my life choices and beliefs because his shows let me grow up watching stories that weren't about a girl fighting crime or a man seeking revenge, they dealt with issues so far beyond gender that it never even crossed my mind to have issues about it. I know he wasn't a comic author back then, but he is now. The people who are the target market for both TV and comics grew up with him and writers like him too, and they're the new decision makers.

The status of women in the comic world may look bleak, but its changing so very fast. After Fable 2, Fable 3's main character was a woman on her quest to become a saviour. Kick Ass's Hit Girl is only a kid and is more powerful than all the female sidekicks before her. Change is there, its just rapidly becoming normality.

0 Thank you, please try again later

Well, I didn't manage to get a single piece of the Versace for H&M collection since their website crashed magnificently. By the time I got through (4 hours after launch), there were only wrong sizes or things I didn't want left.

I had the rest of day off, so I spent it browsing various fashion websites trying to scratch my clothing budget itch. Eventually I made my way to ASOS - where they're currently in the middle of a 29% off boutique sale - and bought a couple of pairs of unusual tights, and this lovely little number:

You have no idea how long I've been looking for a bell sleeve top, and this one's perfect. I can see myself wearing it with a sleeveless vest, preferably cardigan style, or some massive jewelry.

Speaking of outfits, I should be photographing mine regularly soon, since my room is almost finished! The paint is dry, the floor is varnished, and the wallpaper is hung; all that's really left is to fit the shelves, desk, and electrical fittings. Oh, and curtains, which I'm hoping to make from fabric with thick red and white stripes. I don't want solid colour, but I also don't want to draw away from the heavy pattern on the feature wall.

Hmm.

Oh well, I'll just whip the sewing machine out and see what happens!

0 Curl up and dye

My hair and I are constantly in battle. One minute it's wavy and soft, then in the blink of an eye it's scraggly and greasy. Sometimes my fringe will be obedient, but usually it curls off in mad directions. I shan't even speak of the colour.

(Actually, I will.)

My hair has been several colours now, from fairly tame beige-blonde and dark brown to deepest black and firetruck red. For some months I had bubblegum pink flashes hidden in the sides of my bob cut (which I enjoyed) and once had long, side parted, purplish hair with blond highlights (which I really did not).

Now, I want something so different from what I usually have. For starters, no fringe. My fringe has been a stalwart part of my hairstyle for nearly ten years now - side, full, shaped, it has always been there to hide behind. However I was gifted several great vintage hairstyle books for my birthday, and something became quickly apparent - long hair that can fake a fringe is more versatile than an actual fringe.

I'm on a quest to completely change my look, to refine it and make sure that even if I'm dressed for comfort I keep my style, and I think the best way to do this is set a goal. Mine is a future date with BLEACH London. They are home to some of the most in-demand stylists in the fashion world, and Pixie Geldof appears to live there.

My particular favourites are the grungy yet soft dye jobs, involving pastels and pink.

I like that the look could change depending on what you wear - prim and proper with work clothes, or ruffled and undone for a night out.

Even though I'm avoiding a fringe, I absolutely love this style. I reckon a similar effect could be achieved with coloured slices side and front, rolled into a quiff type fringe. (I think I hate the word quiff.)

Subtler style, yet still very effective and a bit haunting.

These highlights are brilliant, and would look lovely mixed into fishtail braids or plaits.

I've had my eye on this one for a while. Most of my decorating and design is dedicated to red; my bedroom has victorian library red walls, my favourite lipstick is a dark, fiery colour, and most of my clothes revolve around varieties of rouge. So naturally I want blue hair. Still warm, not too dark and not too bright, dark roots melting into blonde, then gradiating from light to dark at the tips.

Is that too much to ask?

Before I book, I need to save money, and before the money I need a price. For just the virgin bleach and toner it works out at £170, however I want to check about what condition my hair should be in, and if the gradiating colour is extra. The overall cost isn't really an issue considering how much I must have spent on hair colours that weren't really perfect, but I need to know how much to write on my money tin.

0 Crochet, hooray!

Last night, I had to pack up all my art supplies to make room for my parents' new sofa. It didn't bother me at the time, but earlier this morning, a mild sense of dread set in.
All my art supplies are boxed up.
All of them.
In boxes.

Aargh.

This has, however, highlighted an important problem I've had for a while; my desire to carry on my academic studies has completely paralysed my ability to actually make anything useful. My attention has gone fully into crochet, with me crafting everything from jellyfish to bleeding, severed zombie fingers. Little of this is useful for my portfolio, but I've always just thought, 'well, my art table is right there, when I have the time'.

My drive just isn't there; I keep worrying and fretting about how very wrong it all could go, and all the ways I could be rejected. This is natural of course, but artistic block still just creeps up on you.

So, I have a plan - to use crochet for a better purpose, like a poorer and less ambitious Batman. I must learn to design my own pattern, and make something truly portfolio worthy.

0 Divine timing: I get paid, Versace release their H&M capsule preview

As a long time fan of the H&M designer capsule collections, I've been anticipating this one for a while. Versace have partnered with the high street store to create an excitingly expansive collection that extends from clothes to accessories and homewear.

This dress caught my eye the second I saw it hugging Donatella Versace's figure at the announcement for this collection - its bang on trend for the tough look, the androgyny look, even the geometric print look. However, I'll have to go and try this on in store as leather clothing is usually unforgiving to the large-busted.

Neat corners are a thing of great pleasure to me, and to have each pleat in a skirt so precisely marked is beyond a dream. This is firmly on my wishlist.

I was surprised to like this skirt; I go for bold prints sparingly, but I can see this worn with a chunky plain jumper, opaque mushroomy tights and some bold statement jewellery... Speaking of which:

Oh, my. Look at that for a moment. No, no, don't drool on your keyboard, its out next week. Have some self control.

Basically, I have a struggle on my hands to not spend all my money on the lovely, lovely jewellery; leather necklaces and chokers go with almost anything, and there's three in this collection.

The full collection launches on November 17th in selected stores and online; you can shop (and obsess over) it here: Versace for H&M

0 Floorboards

My room is now fully stripped, with new shelves and wall primer and a slightly lower ceiling; the main part now is, possibly, the most beautiful part - the floor.

I love a good wooden floor. This may just be the flu meds I'm currently filled with talking, but I'm genuinely about to do a brief post on floors, so buckle up.

These are the floorboards that were under my horrible beige carpet; look at them. Look at the paint, the scratches, the life in them! How could you not adore something like that? It get better; all of that belongs to my family. They are they clumsy, paint-sloshing, nail wielding cowboys who made that floor look so damn good.

Naturally, I have to board over it.

Those boards are creaky, and rattle when the heating turns on. There's a giant square of concrete where a fireplace vent used to be. We even found a supporting beam that had been sawed clear through. So, I had no choice - there must be a new floor.

I had to consider my options carefully. If I went for carpet, I'd be spending the rest of my life there with a layer of my own hair attached to everything. Tiles would be too cold, and linoleum would make me die inside. My only choice, really, was more floorboards.

New floorboards I can give my own life to. Wide, unfinished, and primed for a life of ink spills, spattered paint and scuffs. My heart soared.

Today my floor was finally bought - 210mm wide planks of varying lengths, with knotholes aplenty. I'm so excited that I'm bound to upload a photo of it still packed in the van.

For now, I must go back to lying on the sofa half-dressed and eating chocolate

0 Duct tape/cardboard boxes.

everything I own is currently in cardboard boxes. Here they are:

Everything. Nearly all of my clothes, books, trinkets, posters, artwork, shoes, my entire life. There are over 50 boxes. I'm redecorating my bedroom, the bedroom I have spent most of my life in but never decorated properly. I left for university with it a beige wasteland, and returned to it the same, but with all the stuff I collected in London to cram in too.

I've had a lot of time to consider what I want my room to look like, but it runs strangely parallel to changing how I want my life to look too; I want to change my hair, thin out my wardrobe, get fitter, get a dog. Its easier to focus when I write everything down, so that's what I plan to do here. There should be at least one weekly post with updates, passions, profiles, and so on.

Also, I apologise if I ever come across as pretentious or dreamy, but that's what a lifetime of language learning and three years of professional essay writing does to you. I studied Psychology, and they like long words.